So, I've been here for over 4 months now, and things have finally become boring. People have gotten used to their mundane routines, and no one wants to step out. Everyone has become the spokes of a wheel, ever in motion, always coming back to the same spot over and over again. Life is stupid. Life is restricting. I don't want to be part of it. I want to live free. I want to act free. I want to think free. I want to be free. And I want others to be free as well.
Last night I asked myself, what am I doing here? Why am I here? What am I getting out of being here? What is it that I really want? What is my purpose in life? Do I have a purpose in life, or is my existence pointless, just a gap to be filled in because we're all just extra's in this huge dramatization of life? I realized that I am doing absolutely nothing here. I sit on my arse and read books, play sports, and help de-weed fields. WOW. Isn't that going to make a difference to everyone and anyone? I realized that I don't want all this information. I want knowledge. It's true. But I don't want the garbage that they teach us in school, college, university, jobs. I want real knowledge. I want to know everything there isn't to know. I want to see everything we think we never will. I want to explore the depths of thought, space, sound, and sense. That is what I want to know. I have no desire to fill my head with 'knowledge' that so many people already know and have already classified. It's a waste of space, when we have everything that we will ever need in the palm of our hands in the form of microcomputers. I would rather that instead of moving through the blackness of the Unknown Thought, holding on far too much to our safety ropes, one of us just let go and took a bold stride into the darkness of beyond and spread the light. At the rate we're going, all we're doing is shooting a tiny beam of light into the vastness, and all that we recover is the infinitely miniscule part of it that blocks the beam. The part directly in front of it - nothing up, down, side to side, after and before it. We know too little, and at the rate that we're going, we'll never pierce this store room of everything that we will ever encounter. I just want to be a light beam and travel to the ends of the universe, and see everything I never will.
Another thing that has really pissed me off is this construct of life. We all live by a set of rules and regulations. Let’s call them restrictions, because that’s what they really are, after all. Society has taught us to think in a specific way, to talk in a specific way, to act in a specific way. Everyone I know just wants to get a good degree, get a good job and own a nice car, a big house and have a happy family. That is their idea of a happy existence. How mundane. Everyone wants to live in a cycle of safety. No one I know is willing to put a stick into the spoke and observe the motion then. No one I know wants to climb trees in the middle of the night with me for fun. No one I know wants to Dive into the pool when its freezing cold, just to see what its like. No one wants to surf the tsunami with me, just for the high. No one wants to stand up and think for themselves. Society has restricted itself from blossoming. We have stuffed ourselves into a box, and cramped our minds into cubes of restricted motion. The worst part of it all is the fact that people create pseudo-happiness when all they have to do is reject the rules. All we have to do is take ourselves out of the box that has been forced upon us for a minute, and we'll see how close-minded we have become. We live in a tiny system. Do you know why Microsoft keeps upgrading? ‘Cause there are flaws in the system. Every system has flaws, and that’s why we move onto a better system, with flaws of its own. With more complex, convoluted flaws, even less evident than the last, but present none-the-less. We need to destroy the system. We need to stop restricting ourselves with these metal constructs, that shouldn't even exist. Every time I meet people, there's always a few who laugh at me, think I'm weird. What they don't see is the fact that I'm outside their world. I am, quite literally, on my own plane. And that is how everyone should be. If we don't like it, then we can revert back, but otherwise what's the point of calling yourself open minded? One of my friends told me that this sounded like it was straight out of some play. What he doesn't know is the fact that we're all part of a huge performance. We are all just actors on a grand scale. Now if only you could walk off stage and into the audience, and watch it with me, you'd see. You'd see the truth. You'd see a more complete picture. What I want to know lies outside, but at this point of time, I can't make it there on my own. I need help. I need someone to come with me. I want someone to come with me. Someone who I can share my freedom with, someone who'll appreciate liberation from liberation as we see it. Someone who'll help me convince more people to take a bite out of this apple. I want someone to get up and walk out of the theatre with me. I wish to know what lies outside this theatre.
I wish to know the truth. I wish to dive, head-first, into the vastness of space, time, and the dimensions. Einstein once said that time was the 4th dimension. I wonder if that’s true. We have become masters of the 3 dimensions. Length, breadth, and height. We have frozen them, and move around in them freely. They are constant, and we move through them, forward and backward, up and down, from side to side. But what about time? Have we managed to control time? We have managed to understand it. Or have we? Is using time to co-ordinate our lives a proper understanding of time? Is it understanding at all? Or is it just usage without comprehension? The sun comes up and goes down every 100,000 times I breathe, so let’s call it something. The 25,00th time I breathe, I should eat a meal. Let’s call it lunch. Is that our 'understanding' of time? I think not. I believe that this is a dimension that we are yet to comprehend. There is more to time than we think. We do not control Time, Time controls us. It pushes us ever forward, despite our attempts to stay still. In order to believe we control it, we have sayings like, "I watched Time pass me by", as if we're a separate entity all-together. But that isn't true. We are all moved forward by this dimension, regardless of our orientation. We do not control this dimension - it controls Us. How does it control us? Is it, after all this, just a mental construct? Is it really a dimension? Have we created it from our imagination, and has it overrun us, like a wild child, and taken hold of the leashes we never knew were around our necks? Can thought create dimension? Can an electrical impulse being interpreted in a different way each time be a machine that churns out a new layer of reality? Or is it a pseudo-reality that we create around us, but that doesn't actually exist?
I want to know the truth. I want to know everything there isn't to know. I want to travel the universe and see everything I know I never will. I want to catch the twinkling of an eye, and put it in a box, and open it every time I want. I want to grab every star from the sky, make a necklace out of it, and give it to the one I love. I want o shoot up and down over to the other side of the rainbow. I want to view the cycle of a star, and drink the milky-way. I want to open Pandora's-box, and know everything. I want to unleash reality upon myself. I want to meet aliens, and communicate with them. I want to gain another's perspective without having an opinion on it. I want to turn the earth inside out, and have a steam bath in the molten crust. In want to bend time, and travel till I see every major event first hand, and create my own understanding of history. I want to go as far as all the money in my pocket will take me, and walk from there. I want to go backpacking across the depths of space, time, and mathematics. I want to find myself in a champagne supernova in the sky. Catch me if you can, I'll meet you at Me.
