Monday, January 10, 2005

Santa Is Evil

Santa is an evil man
An evil chap with an evil plan;
He has an evil house, an evil dog
Some evil food for his evil hog.
Evil fire, evil toast
And even an evil evil ghost!
And evil daughter, an evil son,
Not to mention an evil nun!

His evil instincts force him to flick
Presents first from the dyslexic
And the evil older kids
Because his evil budget forbids
Him from making toys every evil year
So he shifts into evil gear
And recycles most evilly
The gifts he gave to you and me.

He takes them back,
He fixes them through,
And adds some nasty, evil flu
To each evil present he packs
To give all the Henrys, Jills, and Jacks.

So if you see your old evil doll
With your kid sis(who just learned to crawl)
Or your old evil toy
With some other, evil boy
Who lives in some other place
From another land, another race,
You'll know just who caused this stint
When Christmas came, but presents didn't.

- Aveek Katiyar (27 Oct '04)


Just on the topic of a bad Christmas and no presents and all... thought I'd post this. :-D.
What do you guys think...?!

9 comments:

Meghna said...

You certainly have a way with words! Nice...
Kinda defeats the spirit of Christmas though huh? Keep writing!

nandini said...

still on the 'bad christmas' hangover?

Aveek said...

Not really... I wrote this some time ago... just was feeling evil and mean, so...
Hey, you cant blame me - I wrote this during one of my 11/2 hour torture chem periods at 'College'...

P.S. Thank you meghna!!

nandini said...

oops! sorry!!! i missed the date below the poem!

Anonymous said...

When everything is going wrong
When everything's a blur
Just turn around,
Reach out a hand
And i'll always be right here.

Aveek said...

Woowww... who are you anon.? I might just take you up on that one, so consider wisely before you choose to reveal yourself...! :-D

Anonymous said...

like this one... but gets me thinking on the whole "Santa" concept... well if you tweak around with it u could make Santa out to be the evil coloniser, selling his western ideas to us (post colonial hangover!) and we lapping it all up blindly :). Ok sorry about that... reading too much into it... i like ur poems, hmmm wonder wat goes on in that head of urs.

Aveek said...

Hehe... U really might not wanna know, roopa... totally deranged, disconnected, and irrelevant(and sometimes irreverent!) thought flit thru the (not so) complex grey matter up there...

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