Thursday, March 02, 2006

Backpacking Across the Universe

So, I've been here for over 4 months now, and things have finally become boring. People have gotten used to their mundane routines, and no one wants to step out. Everyone has become the spokes of a wheel, ever in motion, always coming back to the same spot over and over again. Life is stupid. Life is restricting. I don't want to be part of it. I want to live free. I want to act free. I want to think free. I want to be free. And I want others to be free as well.
Last night I asked myself, what am I doing here? Why am I here? What am I getting out of being here? What is it that I really want? What is my purpose in life? Do I have a purpose in life, or is my existence pointless, just a gap to be filled in because we're all just extra's in this huge dramatization of life? I realized that I am doing absolutely nothing here. I sit on my arse and read books, play sports, and help de-weed fields. WOW. Isn't that going to make a difference to everyone and anyone? I realized that I don't want all this information. I want knowledge. It's true. But I don't want the garbage that they teach us in school, college, university, jobs. I want real knowledge. I want to know everything there isn't to know. I want to see everything we think we never will. I want to explore the depths of thought, space, sound, and sense. That is what I want to know. I have no desire to fill my head with 'knowledge' that so many people already know and have already classified. It's a waste of space, when we have everything that we will ever need in the palm of our hands in the form of microcomputers. I would rather that instead of moving through the blackness of the Unknown Thought, holding on far too much to our safety ropes, one of us just let go and took a bold stride into the darkness of beyond and spread the light. At the rate we're going, all we're doing is shooting a tiny beam of light into the vastness, and all that we recover is the infinitely miniscule part of it that blocks the beam. The part directly in front of it - nothing up, down, side to side, after and before it. We know too little, and at the rate that we're going, we'll never pierce this store room of everything that we will ever encounter. I just want to be a light beam and travel to the ends of the universe, and see everything I never will.
Another thing that has really pissed me off is this construct of life. We all live by a set of rules and regulations. Let’s call them restrictions, because that’s what they really are, after all. Society has taught us to think in a specific way, to talk in a specific way, to act in a specific way. Everyone I know just wants to get a good degree, get a good job and own a nice car, a big house and have a happy family. That is their idea of a happy existence. How mundane. Everyone wants to live in a cycle of safety. No one I know is willing to put a stick into the spoke and observe the motion then. No one I know wants to climb trees in the middle of the night with me for fun. No one I know wants to Dive into the pool when its freezing cold, just to see what its like. No one wants to surf the tsunami with me, just for the high. No one wants to stand up and think for themselves. Society has restricted itself from blossoming. We have stuffed ourselves into a box, and cramped our minds into cubes of restricted motion. The worst part of it all is the fact that people create pseudo-happiness when all they have to do is reject the rules. All we have to do is take ourselves out of the box that has been forced upon us for a minute, and we'll see how close-minded we have become. We live in a tiny system. Do you know why Microsoft keeps upgrading? ‘Cause there are flaws in the system. Every system has flaws, and that’s why we move onto a better system, with flaws of its own. With more complex, convoluted flaws, even less evident than the last, but present none-the-less. We need to destroy the system. We need to stop restricting ourselves with these metal constructs, that shouldn't even exist. Every time I meet people, there's always a few who laugh at me, think I'm weird. What they don't see is the fact that I'm outside their world. I am, quite literally, on my own plane. And that is how everyone should be. If we don't like it, then we can revert back, but otherwise what's the point of calling yourself open minded? One of my friends told me that this sounded like it was straight out of some play. What he doesn't know is the fact that we're all part of a huge performance. We are all just actors on a grand scale. Now if only you could walk off stage and into the audience, and watch it with me, you'd see. You'd see the truth. You'd see a more complete picture. What I want to know lies outside, but at this point of time, I can't make it there on my own. I need help. I need someone to come with me. I want someone to come with me. Someone who I can share my freedom with, someone who'll appreciate liberation from liberation as we see it. Someone who'll help me convince more people to take a bite out of this apple. I want someone to get up and walk out of the theatre with me. I wish to know what lies outside this theatre.
I wish to know the truth. I wish to dive, head-first, into the vastness of space, time, and the dimensions. Einstein once said that time was the 4th dimension. I wonder if that’s true. We have become masters of the 3 dimensions. Length, breadth, and height. We have frozen them, and move around in them freely. They are constant, and we move through them, forward and backward, up and down, from side to side. But what about time? Have we managed to control time? We have managed to understand it. Or have we? Is using time to co-ordinate our lives a proper understanding of time? Is it understanding at all? Or is it just usage without comprehension? The sun comes up and goes down every 100,000 times I breathe, so let’s call it something. The 25,00th time I breathe, I should eat a meal. Let’s call it lunch. Is that our 'understanding' of time? I think not. I believe that this is a dimension that we are yet to comprehend. There is more to time than we think. We do not control Time, Time controls us. It pushes us ever forward, despite our attempts to stay still. In order to believe we control it, we have sayings like, "I watched Time pass me by", as if we're a separate entity all-together. But that isn't true. We are all moved forward by this dimension, regardless of our orientation. We do not control this dimension - it controls Us. How does it control us? Is it, after all this, just a mental construct? Is it really a dimension? Have we created it from our imagination, and has it overrun us, like a wild child, and taken hold of the leashes we never knew were around our necks? Can thought create dimension? Can an electrical impulse being interpreted in a different way each time be a machine that churns out a new layer of reality? Or is it a pseudo-reality that we create around us, but that doesn't actually exist?

I want to know the truth. I want to know everything there isn't to know. I want to travel the universe and see everything I know I never will. I want to catch the twinkling of an eye, and put it in a box, and open it every time I want. I want to grab every star from the sky, make a necklace out of it, and give it to the one I love. I want o shoot up and down over to the other side of the rainbow. I want to view the cycle of a star, and drink the milky-way. I want to open Pandora's-box, and know everything. I want to unleash reality upon myself. I want to meet aliens, and communicate with them. I want to gain another's perspective without having an opinion on it. I want to turn the earth inside out, and have a steam bath in the molten crust. In want to bend time, and travel till I see every major event first hand, and create my own understanding of history. I want to go as far as all the money in my pocket will take me, and walk from there. I want to go backpacking across the depths of space, time, and mathematics. I want to find myself in a champagne supernova in the sky. Catch me if you can, I'll meet you at Me.

17 comments:

Aveek said...

Yeah, I guess you stand in a rational position. But I guess that is what I am rebelling against. No one stops to question WHY we restrict everyone else, do we? I mean, we jsut go about telling people whats right and wrong, without ever really questioning whether we think that is correct, or are we taking some else's word for it? We have to stop and think for ourselves for a moment, and its at that point that we rebel. It is impossible to break the rules all the time, but the thing that frustrates me somethimes is the fact that even when the opportunity to do is present, everyone voluntarily turns a blind eye to it, and I am the only one stuck with my mouth wide open wondering what on earth is wrong with them. Its not that people can't question and do what they wat, they choose not to, so that they are forever in the safety zone of society's probing eyes. If these very people who restrict us were convinced to take the chance, just once, they might stop restricting you and me ever so often, and let us do what we want, and in turn, do what they wat as well...


Again, I don't know how much sense that makes to anyone but me, but yeah... its just a train of thought. Do correct me if you find discontinuity... hehe...

Ciao!!

Aveek

0 said...

All of us feel this way many times over in our lives. We will never stop questioning or searching. Don't get jaded when you get older, but don't "know" your right... give some margin for doubt and listen to what others have to say. Older people who we may write off now, but may see things we don't. Yes and i will stop giving advise... for the most part i don't know what i am on about :)

Ranjana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

its sad that a person who used to have so much depth is now being so pretentious and cliched

Anonymous said...

Nothing fasciantes me as much as to see a mind like yours question the extents to which we feel capable of questioning. Your post is undoubtedly insightful. Who are these people who make the rules of society? What gives them that right and more so lay constraints. I beleive its not a question of rebellion but more of exploration. Which you have rightfully justified. and that i beleive you will continue to question until you find a so called 'peace of mind' ...
we can never see beyond the choices we dont understand. Every system has a loop hole which exists no where but in your mind. Human wants will always remain insatiable, but its the thirst that drives us into a frenzy.
I wish you luck on your quest. But I assure you the answers are no longer a matter of hope, but time.
Kudos to muwci, it never fails to open your eyes.

~ An entity from the batch of 2001.

Anonymous said...

"and create my own understanding of history."

How can you do this without "knowing" history -- or all the garbage they teach you in school? Don't kid yourself that you will create an understading of history without knowing it first: who was Bhagat Singh or how many nations there are in the European Union and why, who Hannibal was (aside from the movie) and why he is different from Dia De Jing.

I haven't read much of your blog, but you sound pompous in this post. Hopefully, your other thoughts (in other posts) are actually out of this world.

Anyway, check out the name of your blog: you want to order the chaos? Did anyone say "Order?"

Axiomate said...

After a long time..huh !!
Anyways got exams going on now and yeah finally deeksha is over dude
Cheers !!!!

Party after boards for sure,do send mail yaar..

Anonymous said...

Anon. 1 - Well, i guess thats your opinion. Guess you don't know me welll enough. Too bad.

Anon. 2 - Yeah, I'm getting there. Time, not hope. I don't know about hope, I was looking more along the lines of knowledge, and a better understanding of things around me to answer things that I find quite ridiculous. It might be a matter of time, and if that is the case, its going to be a long journey, I know, and I hope that along with more and more discovery, I hope that my quest facccinates me (and anyone else who chooses to think along these lines, for however short a time, or for whatever reason) and leads me to think in a way that I didn't imagine before. It still tickles me as to how not just I, but everyone does spend time thinking about this, and then finds themselves in a position of ablolutely no power to change it. We'll see where I land up, and what I do... hehe... I promise to keep you updated :-p

Anon. 3 - Yeah, someone did say 'order' at some point of time. I was, however, wondering if somebody introduced to you the concept of change? Just a question. As for the other posts, they seem to follow a general order. We'll see how it goes from here on, and what 'someone' says about 'order' in a while. As for now, it's still in obscure in the fog.

NightFox - Nice to know that DCFL is finally over and done with - musta been some really rough stuff, eh?? Do temme how it went - when I get back to B'lore, I really wanna see you guys and catch up with everthing tthat I missed this past year... do make the time please!! We'll aprty together, yeah??

Peace.

Aveek

Meghna said...

Hey Aveek! Long time no see... I thought you had stopped blogging all together!

Interesting post... No, wait...confusing post! You lost me somewhere around "construct of life"!

Anyway, hope life's teatin ya allright... As for me, SUMMER BREAK! Yay!

Aasimah Navlakhi said...

I'm game - Let's walk out of the theatre.

Sohini said...

hey aveek,
i think "its to see what everyone claims to have seen and to feel that no one has felt"
i donno how much sense that makes
but i guess some of ur sensibilities r crossing my chain of thoughts toooo
but then again on a positive note ..
all confusion crave a way towards realization... donno
well anyways
cheers
sohini

Axiomate said...

Many Many happy returns of the day aveek... I know I am late by one day but hey I thought I'll still wish you..june2nd..so where are you these days ? Hows life ?

rahul.

Anonymous said...

pathetic.

the most pompous and uninformed post ever.
how can you claim to want to 'know everything' or 'order the chaos' (jeez, no grandoisity here, no sir!) if you dont want to learn the 'junk they teach in college'?
i mean, there must be some usefullness in what they teach. the whole basis of market economics is that there wouldnt exist any supply without a demand. and are you saying that the bulk of the demand for education in this world is misguided and wrong? oh sorry, you probably wouldnt know what 'demand' is because its part of the junk they teach in college!
besides, what are you then doing in one of the premier education institutes in the world, anyway?

your pathetic attempts at sounding intellectual, or philosophical, or whatever it is that your pretentiousness has led you to, really are a shame to intellect in general, not to mention the school you are studying in.
how can you possibly claim that everyone else's idea of education so far has been so stupid and wrong that you have no interest in knowing any of it, but will instead pursue by yourself this quest for 'real education'?

in your misguided post you quote einstein. if you didnt learn what they apparently shove down your throats in school and college, how would you ever even know what he means? not to mention your totally flawed and warped view of his theories anyway.

pah. this disgusts me and i can continue no further


-batch of 2006, MUWCI

Anonymous said...

Im not surprised that your friend says it sounds like a play...perhaps it is because you stole half these lines from a play performed in MUWCI (and proceeded to misinterpret them to end up sounding completely pretentious and full of bullshit)

- batch of 2006, MUWCI

Anonymous said...

"I want knowledge. It's true. But I don't want the garbage that they teach us in school, college, university, jobs. I want real knowledge. I want to know everything there isn't to know."

Chill out. Bad idea.

Aveek said...

Hey Meghna, Chris, Sohini... thanks for the input...

Hey Batch of 2006!

I see that you seem to think its quite cool to adopt another person's sign-off (Batch of 2006), and then you have the cheek to call ME unoriginal. Hah! That's a really well-thought out stab at me..
but thats not really what its about. Sometimes you don't want to do the same thing that everyone else does - use your imagination. But of course, I wouldn't expect someone as mainstream to ahve any imagination left. You must be too busy taking comfort in the fact that you passed out of "The School" and will get "The Job" and have money and a big house and car and be safe and blend in with societies norms. Have fun, while people wh aren't like you end up changing the world.
As for claims, I can claim whatever I want, and just becuase I degrade your system doesn't make it any less valid. Are you trying to tell me that there is only one way to look at life? Or are you just narrow-minded...? Don't think you can afford to be something like that, especially seeing where you came from.
In my misguided post I quote einstien. But of course, you'll ask this question, and you must think yourself quite the genius to come up with such a foxing question. Maybe if you set yourself to ACTUALLY read between the lines and not LOOK for reasons to say something stupid like "Without education you wouldn't understand it", you might get something out of it. But thats entirely your decision.
If the business talk is meant to impress, it doesn't. And if you want to know what I'm doing in college, its enjoying myself - something you'll never be able to do in your ever dumber quest to please your relatives and pocket.
As for me trying to sound 'intellectual' and 'philosophical', makes you feel good to use big words when you see somethingyou can't really grasp, eh? Well, to each his own. I really don't think that your professional eye should bother too spend time going over this, your capabilities should be put to better use - like saving the world... after all, that IS what your funky education must have taught you by now, no? That the world is going to collapse in on itself due to a major rise in the DEMAND for oil, along with a MAJOR slump in its ACCESSIBILITY. But then again, thats for the well informed, not pretentious farts, so I wouldn't expect you to know anything about it. Go spend your intellect on something like that, please. As for the intro - if I really want a two-bit journo to assess me, I'll hire one - at least there'll be some quality there, not your on-the-spot garbage.

Antarius said...

My psychic capabilities tell me someone here (HINT HINT) has verbal diarrhoea.

Where are you. I was in BLR .. now im back in MAA tho

Catch you sometime,
Sayonara,
Antarius