Mona

Mona. I just realised that I didn't have any pictures of her at all. The number of times we were with her and never thought of taking pitures. After all, where was she going anyways? Anytime we needed her company we'd just call and we were off to ITPL or to a play or something or the other.
And then it happened. After a late night at a friends house, I was on my way back and for a lark thought I'd sing really loudly to see if I could wake Mona up. With no reply, though, I ended up sleeping by around 3:00 AM. Next morning I get a call from Abhay asking me to come to Mona's place, cause she's passed away. Just like that. I didn't believe it, even after he asked me to get my parents along. It wasn't until I actually got to her lane and saw lots of cars and even more people at Mona's house that I started to believe that something was really wrong.
The closer I came, the more uncomfortable I felt. I refused to believe that something(let alone death) had happened to her. And then it happened. I walked up the driveway I knew what I had been dreading since that call. One look at her dad, and I knew it had happened. I walked into the living room - and got the shock of my life. There was Mona, in the middle of the room, wrapped in a deep blue saari, with a gauze around her jaw. It still refused to strike me, or I refused to accept it.
Shock. Disbelief. Horror. Denial. It still refuses to lodge itself in my factfile. Now I know what they mean when they say "Like A Dream". The whole day just seemed so unreal. So unbelievable, yet so accurate, as if someone was trying very hard to blur the lines between sublime dreams and a harsh reality. Even now I think that I'll just call her up a little later and that I'll tell her what a scary dream I'd had. I've tried everything - from pinching myself, to showering thrice with cold water - just to wake me up from this dream that I sincerely wish that I was in.
She just turned 25 in October. She hadd plans to work really hard, get her own place, get a car, and eventually settle down. She loved the same music I did, and more(I must say, she had really good taste), and now I'm feeeling so bad, cause I promised to give her some tapes she'd been looking for forever. So this is what happens when you postpone things. We never quite got down to doin most of the stuff we planned. So much for our grand plans of when I was legally was allowed to party, or stay out late, or other (nafarious?) activities.
You know about those stories where a guy one day goes to his fathers house(who he hasn't talked to in years), rings the bell, and says,"Dad, I love you." Next day the guy dies. Sure, that strikes a chord in your heart. But it's not until you've actually experienced something like that till you really know how it feels.
Just try and imagine how hard it is to lose a parent or grand-parent. Painful. But hey, you knew their time was coming sooner or later, so there was that cushion to fall on - they had lived their lives, and were heading West now. Then imagine losing your child. What the...?! Where did she go to? You never expected that to happen to you, did you? Imagine the hurt a parent feels when they have to cremate/bury/(which ever custom you follow) their child. Their CHILD. Her mother even remarked,"I never thought I'd touch her when she was this cold." Then imagine losing your friend. And not just any friend. Your really really really close friend. Someone you dearly love. Ouch.
I guess a few more visits to the temple are in order. Maybe, even though I don't believe(Yet?) if she did, then I guess the only way left to reach her would be through the house of God?
I hate the Sandman. What a bad dream this is... Not one thing is going right. Mona dies, then I can't reach her cremation in time, then friends come over and try hopelessly to cheer me up, and finally I fall asleep in my own dream. I wake up the next morning, go to college, break down, come home, write on my blog, and try very hard to forget my dreams. The main problem with this particular dream is that I don't think I'm gonna wake up anytime soon... but when I do, the first thing I'm gonna do is call up everyone I know and tell them just how much they mean to me.