My Breakfast

IT'S SAUNDAY!!
Normally, I (not to mention most sane people in this galaxy) wouldn’t get up until the late afternoon. But today is different. Today I got up by 8:30 and was ready (shower an all) by 9:00. Why? Because Mum is making breakfast. Trust me, it's worth getting up for. And if I (the grand master of supreme laziness) say so, you have just got to believe it. It's not your standard morning bread-toast and butter breakfast. Or rather, not just your bread-toast and butter breakfast. It's a Five Star Hotel Multi-Course breakfast, no holes barred.
It starts off well enough, with a tall glass of fruit juice of your choice. That's about 200mL of the best juice in the world - Ceres. Then comes the first set of choices you make - do you want a HUGE (3 egg) omelet, or a HUGE (3 egg) fried egg? This decision made, within five minutes you have a huge sphere of 3-eyed egg (at least, that's what I'd choose) on your plate. This, of course, comes with standard accompaniments, in the form of unlimited mashed potato sprinkled with pepper and Tabasco sauce, and a hefty chunk of homemade brown bread. If, however, you wish to chew your potatoes and work your jaws further, you have the option of asking for Jacket Potatoes hot and fresh from the oven, sliced down the centre, and filled with butter. As you watch the butter melt along the insides of the Potato, you add the grated cheese, sprinkle with pepper and chopped sprig of spring onion, or dribble some Hot-sauce on it and take one nice, full bite of this divine creation of (wo) man.
As you recover from the dose of ecstasy, you are faced with yet another choice - Ham Slices, Bacon Strips, or Succulent Keels Sausages? Again, Keels is by far the best producer of sausages in the world. Highly recommended. You choose two (the Bacon and Sausages for me) and watch while the cook (mum) makes the sausage do all kinds of flips mid-air in front of you, and manipulates the bacon like a veteran snake charmer performing a rehearsed act.
Another shot of ecstasy. Addictive, isn't it?
Make way for another glass of that heavenly juice that God reserved for the Just - Ceres, to quench your growing thirst. You are about to go for seconds, full as you are, when you see mum taking out Desert from the oven - hot Apple Pie, which she will serve with a dollop of vanilla ice-cream. Your mind reels, now clearly at a loss as to what to do with that last square centimeter of space in your stomach (and indeed your entire body). Should you go for the potent, satisfying line-up again, or wait a few seconds till mum cuts the Pie and places the Original Sin in front of your longing eyes (and mouth)? You choose to complete this entire round, and opt for the Pie.
The Pie, served in a crystal glass bowl, comes with the ice cream already melting at its side, just begging to be devoured. And so you oblige! Without waiting for mum to finish explaining how many hours it took her to perfect everything, you, in one fell swoop, you make a great void where the Apple Pie so recently was. You feel its warmth as it (not so) softly settles itself in your stomach, and feel the world going hazy again. (And here the ecstasy kicks in again...)

You wake up in your room, snug under the covers of your bed. You look at the time, and it's the early evening. But you don't care. You can't move, and you don't want to. Or have to. Mum and Dad leave you to yourself, respecting the unsaid Law of Rest after Heaven. Slowly, slowly you drift back into the blurry world of the semi-conscious, and then into an all-together blissful sleep.



And that, dear readers, is what makes my life worth living. Bon Appetit!